A Very Serious Letter to Alexander Beattie on his 10th Birthday, from his Father


My son's class celebrates each birthday by making each child a 'Rock Star' for the week - this includes having a favorite lunch, showing off some favorite items and having a letter from their parents read in front of class. This is the letter I wrote for Alex (to be read tomorrow)


When a child comes into this world there are many things which a parent needs to think about - how to feed them, how to dress them, which toys are best, and what books to read to them. All sorts of choices need to be made to help him grow and prosper in the world.

When that child turns 10, however, there's only one really important question remaining:'Is he still a munchkin?'

When he's 4 or 5 years old, the question is easy to answer... Of course he's a munchkin! He's tiny, has a high-pitched voice, and tears around the playground with groups of other little people all wearing bright colors and happy faces. There's no question about it, the munchkiness is obvious!

Around 8 years old, it starts to become less clear. The children that used to be so small you could fit several in your pocket and still have room for a Snickers bar, are now so big you give involuntary grunts every time you lift them up. Soon they start picking out some of their own clothes - none of which have Thomas the Tank Engine on the front - watching television shows with real people in them and reading books without pictures!

And worst of all, they start beating their parents at video games for the first time.

These are NOT proper munchkin qualities!

Still, the squeaky voices, goofy smiles and involuntary giggles remain a dead give-away that their munchkinality remains safely within.

But then, suddenly, instantly, without warning, the child becomes 10 years old. TEN YEARS OLD! The BIG ONE OH! Double digits!!! How is it possible that someone so incredibly aged could still be a munchkin?!

Munchkins don't read novels! Munchkins don't bike to school by themselves! Munchkins don't have email addresses and YouTube accounts, and know how to text their friends. Munchkins don't understand the jokes on MAD TV! It's just not right!!

And yet, Alexander, no matter how old you get, you will always be my Munchkin. My munchy-munch, munchmatic, munchtacular, munchtastic, muncherific, mega-munchkin.

Happy Birthday! :-)




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