Three Ingredients

I just ordered a pizza from PizzaHut here in Madrid. The Spanish have NO concept of the idea of customer service - or really of capitalism in general. I have a coupon. It says on the coupon: "2 Medium pizzas (up to 3 ingredients) for �12" At the bottom It says where it's valid and that it can't be combined with any other offers. Fine.

So I call - this is a constant issue, but PizzaHut is the only real decent pizza around here which is why we continue to order from them. I order the special: I have a coupon... it comes in every Sunday's paper, so it's not like it's a new thing for them. I'd like a "chicken parrilla" and a plain pizza (a margarita). She says, you need to order 3 ingredients. I ask, what comes on the chicken parrilla - she says You can't order the chicken parrilla, so I tell her the THREE INGREDIENTS which normally come on the chicken parrilla pizza and she says okay. And for the other? I say just a plain pizza. She says, You have to have 3 ingredients. WHAT? Why? I just want a plain pizza. No, you have to have 3 ingredients. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I just want a plain pizza. Look, it's cheaper for you and hey (looking down) it says here UP TO 3 ingredients. She says, fine, hold on. She talks to someone, she says, okay, fiiiine (like it's some special exception she's making just for me) you can have the plain pizza. It'll be 30 minutes.

Great. But wait, I want 3 cans of soda and... NO. You can't combine the offer with anything else. WHAT? No. But, but... NO. Ahh... okay. Whatever. Bye.

After I look down I see where it says, "not to be combined with any other OFFERS." What a fucking idiot. It'd be one thing if this was the first time, but this is a battle every few weeks when we order pizza. I was prepared for the "three ingredients only" thing... but she got me on the can't combine the offer with anything else.

I'm amazed. I'd blame it on a stupid counter girl working on a Saturday, but it's not. This is 100% pure, classic Spain. Sorry if you're from Spain or what not, but this is SO common it's amazing. ARRRGHH!

I know Domino's got corporate ethics problems, but damn I wish it was here. I love Domino's pizza.


P.S. Later... Here's an idea. If you speak Spanish, try it yourself. Call +34 91 555 6049 (yes, that's a real number... I know it looks like a "movie number") and tell them you have a "Family Check" (yes, that's English) and that you want two medium Pizzas. You'll have to do it tomorrow as Madrid is 6 hours ahead of the East Coast in the U.S. If they ask for address tell them you live somewhere on Calle Capitan Haya.

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