Picture This...


Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who've had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally I went out to the balcony and sure enough there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above the ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off! So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his fingers. Of course he couldn't stand that for long so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into to the bushes, stunned, but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me and I had a heart attack and died right there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every afternoon I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of balcony on the floor below me. I knew I coudn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out on to the balcony. I thought for sure I ws saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me! I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned by all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this *refrigerator* comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter has to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death and let him in.

The third man, came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."



< Previous         Next >