That Middle Place

I'm in that middle place. I've been here since yesterday. This is what happens when I've got a ton of stuff I'm learning at work and projects that I'm doing at home. Suddenly - I pause. I'm in procrastinator's paradise. I have too many options. I have too many things to learn/do/create. If I'm at work and I run across something that I want to learn for my home projects, I feel guilty about exploring further. If I'm at home, and I start getting into my project I feel guilty because I really need to go over my J2EE books some more and study for my exams. This sensation of never having enough time to "get into" whatever I want to do is paralyzing. I think I need a shrink.

Blogging, of course, is like fuel for fire. As much as I enjoy finding cool sites like Mitch Ratcliffe's Business Blog, they still do nothing to put me on my way to meeting my goals.

Now it's time for bed (1:30 a.m.). I haven't produced or learned anything relative to my life for the past 4 hours. I've got all this stuff I want to do and learn, and there's only 24 hours in the day and I've got to sleep for what, 3 of them at least (hahaha. Oh how I WISH I could function on 3 hours sleep). I really need to learn to UNPLUG the internet and sometimes UNPLUG the computer so I can get the stuff I need to done... but then there's always that one thing I need that's only available online...

I hate this feeling. You know what I'm going to do now? I'm going to go to bed because I have to, but lie there awake analyzing my project and mentally preparing for work. If I get up, I'm doomed. I'll be a zombie tomorrow. I have to stay there torturing myself mentally over analyzing everything and adding to my mental list of things to do...

Definitely need a psychologist. Or a pharmicist... what's that new no-sleep drug again?


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